"We're going to count off to determine lab groups today. Six groups; Andrew, start us off," instructed Mrs. MacLeod.
     That was how I ended up being a four. I did some quick counting, and realized Heather wasn't going to be in my group. Then I heard Vinnie say 'four,' and I remember thinking that it might not be so bad.
     After Mrs. MacLeod assigned tables, she turned us loose. I walked to the back middle table, hoping it wouldn't matter that I hadn't done the pre-lab. I went to the cabinet on the wall to grab a pair of goggles and returned to the table.
     My first thought upon sitting down and seeing that Griffin was in my group was, 'Oh my god, you have got to be fucking kidding me." Things got infinitely worse as Vinnie took the empty chair to my left. At that point, I only had two things running through my head: 'Oh, I so called this,' and, 'FML.' After a couple seconds of gloating, I realized it was doing nothing to improve my mood, so I let it go.
     I walked around to the other side of the table to weigh the filter paper, and was surprised at the difference between the nine filters. So I made some stupid comment, and as soon as I said it I wished I could cram the words back down my throat--too late.
     "Oh, because 0.04 grams is such a huge difference," he quipped. I probably blushed--I don't remember now--but I definitely didn't have a witty reply or clarification in mind.
     I did, however, take solace in the fact that I'm not the one who looks like a monkey with the goggles on.

     "Oh my god. You dork! What the hell was that for?!" the rational, logical, half of me is practically shouting in my head. This is the half of me that's all mature and grown-up and that isn't usually present when Tay gets me all happy hyper giggly.
     The totally immature half of me, on the contrary, is pleased beyond belief, and is grinning like an idiot. Well, in my head. In actuality, I have this weird half-smile that is the compromise between the aforementioned halves.
     I told myself not to do things like that. I told myself to take the backseat, not to be proactive, and just to let things happen, without any meddling on my part.
     But then I had to go and start backseat driving. The half of me that wanted to do this in the first place is arguing that there's nothing wrong with dropping hints. Technically, it's passive. I'm not saying anything definitive. This is the half of me that loves loopholes and gray area.
     My logical half wants me to go bash my head against a wall at this realization, but I resist the urge, and my immature half giggles in childish delight.
     I close my eyes and take a deep breath, and the halves retreat. I'm one person again, and the struggle in my head is silenced...for now, anyway.

     The tardy bell rang, and my mood sank a little as I glanced across the room, verifying for the fifth time in three minutes that he really wasn't there.
     "Sortez vos livres," said Prof. I got up to get my book, and returned to my desk to start the warm up. Tay sat down in the desk behind me after getting her book.
     She leaned forward to whisper in my ear, "Look who's sitting at the end of our row." I turned and gave her a confused look, but looked past her and Andera to the end of the row.
     Being so short, I didn't really see much, just an arm, and over the tops of heads I saw some of his hair sticking up.
     I looked at Tay again, wide-eyed with surprise, and my eyebrows shot up even higher. I brought my hand up to hide my smile, but I was pretty sure she knew anyway. We had a wordless conversation with our eyes for a second, and I turned back to my warm up, shaking my head, and wondered if his moving had anything to do with our conversation the day before.
     Prof was still doing something on his computer when I finished the bellwork, so I flipped through my binder in search of a blank scrap of paper. Finding one, I ripped it out and scribbled "You know, I like it better when he sits across the room. ;)" and put it on the corner of Tay's desk.
     Less than a minute later she gave me back the scrap of paper, and I smiled at her reply: "of course, 'cause then you can stare." I turned around to look at her, and her smile matched mine. I knew she'd understand.